Firsts

I am feeling like I'm getting a little bit caught up around here! We have had so much going on, the days just fly by full of things to do it seems!
First new thing is we bought a house and moved! It's funny how you say we bought a house when really you haven't bought anything.  We still have a lot of money to pay till we "own" it! :)  Anyway, we moved on Saturday the 18th.  If you have ever moved when it's 105 out, with a 4 month old baby and your inlaws then you understand where I was!   I was ready to just stay at our old house! Moving is awful, but when you add all those things in well, I was just glad to get it over with!  So we moved on Saturday and on Tuesday Camilla started school.  So this momma was busy! I really like our house, especially the location.  We moved about 10 miles north of where we previously lived to a town called Shasta Lake City.  It is Ian's hometown, the school where Camilla goes is where Ian went also.  It's a small town, around 10,000 population but only 10 min or so from Redding.  Our house is really close to the school, we can hear the bells and see the cars and school bus's through the trees in our back yard.  I have always wanted to live close to a school not only so it was close to get the kids to and from. But also so we can go there to play and run around on off days.  We walk to school in the morning and it helps me wake up better! I'm not exactly used to this waking up early business!  So we are figuring out our schedule and I'm learning how it's important to get as much done the night before as I can!  Little miss isn't used to the early rising either, but I'm so proud of her. She has done really well, but of course she is really excited to go to school so that helps her get up! She likes her teacher and says she hasn't been in trouble at all! :)  It's been so good for her to go to school and be with all the other kids and be with other adults. As I figured, she got sick her first week with a cold, which of course was passed onto the baby! So I guess both of them will be building their immune system!  I am enjoying the time with Keaton, the little Mr. went on a sleeping on his own strike as soon as we moved.  I guess his little world was upside down too.  He wouldn't nap on his own, at night he didn't want to be in his own bed.  I was so exhausted from moving that I just didn't have the energy to fight it. So into bed with us he goes. It's getting a little better but he still is on strike a little.  So I have to really take advantage of the times when he will take his little 10 min nap or when he's happy swinging or on the floor!  Hopefully that gets better soon.
Work is picking up, we had some slow time with company changes but it's all coming back.  As if we needed more, Ian picked up 3 more counties so now we have 8 counties where we have jobs.  Which ends up being a lot of travel and a lot of communication with a lot of people!  Guess you have to make hay while the sun shines or something like that.  Luckily Ian isn't very picky about the house because when he's gone for a few days at a time or gone everyday I just can't keep up! I'm still trying to find places to put things and trying to figure out where to hang things.  Anyway this is really wordy, but that is what is going on in our lives!
We are excited to be "Homeowners", Ian has already been a plumber, electrician ,landscaper and a little bit of everything else!  I told Ian I wanted to paint and he looked at me like I was crazy.  Then we would have to move everything out of the way!  Men, as if I would finally get my own place and then NOT paint!?  So we'll do that some day.  We have a lot of yard work to do too whenever Ian gets any spare time.  Alright I'll quit now with a few pics.

 First day of school!

 My baby!! Where did the time go?

Lots of yard work to do, but love the deck!

By the way....

WE ARE HOME OWNERS!! Moving as soon as we can!! :)

hee hee

Coast Trip

Ian got about a week vacation due to some changes with companies we work for.  It was nice to have some time off, but guess it's never nice to have a week with no $$ coming in! :)
Anyway we went to the coast and camped for a few days. It's so great that we drive about 3 hours and the temperature drops about 30-40 degrees! Good for me since these long summer days are just awful!  It was fun, there is a campground right on the beach and so we listened to it all day and went to sleep with it at night!
The first night we stopped at a campground before the coast, it was pretty but the mosquito's were terrible!

 She thinks it's so fun to put Bella on a leash!

 They played in the waves.

 Oops!

 Made a sandcastle.

 Pretty and just my kind of weather! 

 The sunset on the ocean.

Ian and Camilla went on a hike to a place called Fern Canyon.  The dog wasn't allowed to go or stay at the campground so I offered to stay behind and take care of the baby aka-nap!

 Love this picture

 Daddy convinced her to lick a banana slug!

One picture of K and Momma!

Us sitting around the fire

It was a good time! 

Time is passing

Well here we are the beginning of August already.  In less than 2 weeks my little girl will start school.  I can't believe the time has already come. I remember thinking a few years ago that I have so much time before she starts school.  Time has flew by and I don't think either of us are ready for her to go! :)  She is nervous about going, she doesn't have much experience of being with kids she doesn't know.  With her not being in daycare or pre-school, the only experience she has is when we go to the playground or gym and she plays with kids there. But otherwise she's just used to the kids we go to meeting with.  I go back and forth at whether I should've put her in pre-school or not. Part of me says, well she has 12 years of school ahead of her so why does she need even more? The other part of me said, she needs the experience of being with other kids and being with a different adult.  Of course now it's too late so we'll see how she does!
I've been thinking about guilt and how as a mother, it just seems to be hard wired.  I have so much guilt when it comes to Camilla.  She has been the best and the hardest thing in my life.  I wonder did I make the best of her time at home with me?  How many days did I waste, not doing things with her while I had the chance.  That is what is going to be hard now with her in school.  Before it was just lets go here or lets go there and off we would go.  Ian never has weekends off and so if he does get a day off its always in the middle of the week.  I wasted many days I know.  With Keaton it has been even worse for my poor daughter.  He wants to be held a lot and is still nursing a lot during the day.  It's such a hard thing to juggle with a baby, a 5-year old, a house, a business, a husband let alone any time for myself. Once again the guilt thing can just run me over!  Keaton takes priority (when he's hungry)  and then my house oh man it is a disaster. I have pretty much gave up on that, Ian is not really ever here so he's easy to deal with!  My time alone? Well that isn't that important.  With Camilla she needs more attention then all of it I think.  She needs things to keep her occupied or she just gets into trouble.  She has SO much energy yet will be perfectly happy being on the computer for hours (I'm guilty as charged) So to try and find enough things to do with her and to take her places that are fun or do something here that is fun takes a lot of energy on my part.  When I don't do a lot with her then here comes the guilt. Yet sometimes I'm so tired physically or emotionally from everything going on in life where I just can't do it! So I'm really trying to work on that these next few days before she goes to school.  Yesterday was a hard day for us.  Ian had been gone for 2 days working and I had been having issues with breastfeeding so Keaton was even more fussy than usual, he hadn't been sleeping well. So needless to say this Momma was tired, stressed, sore and just kinda done!  I took Camilla to Barnes and Noble one of her fun things she likes to do. It turned into a disaster, she lost her straw for her drink, spilled it, Keaton was fussy, Camilla wanted books, I didn't want to buy her books, I wanted to leave, she didn't want to leave.  Then to top it off we went to Walmart to shop which I don't know why I went there because last time I went I swore I wouldn't go back. But I needed more then just food and thought it would be easier then going to 2 stores. HA Well it wasn't because they never have enough checkers and so we waited in line probably 15 minutes.  Camilla was wanting things and touching everything, Keaton was fussy wanting out of his carseat and so by the end of  that I was ready for a NEW day!   So last night was a long night, Ian didn't get home till 10:30, Camilla had got into trouble earlier in the day for not listening and got the computer taken away, which is a bad thing for me because then she's all over me and Keaton and getting into everything and getting into more trouble.  I lost my patience and just mostly told her to go away and find something to do besides bother me and wake up her brother.  She started crying and so did I.  I felt so bad and so guilty of course and vowed just to please have more patience at being a mother and especially at being a mother to Camilla.  Not a proud moment of my mothering but I'm just being honest.  I know I'm not the only one with guilt issue, I'm pretty sure it's pretty common among us mothers.
Anyway this is really wordy and I hope I don't get judged to harshly on my poor mothering skills but it's good to just get it out!  I love my children and hope I can do good to them.