I realize as I get older, that things aren't what we thought they were when we were kids. If that makes sense.. When you are kids you don't see the negative in people, especially adults. You have squabbles with other kids and then they are over in minutes. The older you get the bigger problems become and then it takes longer for you get over them.
My life right now is the best its ever been. We have a good job, we have dependable vehicles. Camilla is healthy and happy. Our marriage is good, we love each other through the good and through the hard and bad times. The more you talk to people about their life, a lot of times you can think well, I guess I have it pretty good. We have a solid place to live, with a comfortable place to rest. I think of the people in Haiti, and just that here in the USA we have it really good. Even the lowest of poverty here is better than maybe even the middle class in Haiti.
I am in an experience now where I have never been before. I'm sorry to be so vague, but its for the protection of others. I have said things that were not right, things have been said to me that were not right. There can be beauty in silence, I wish now that there would have been more silence and less talk. I think of Jesus, and if there's ever an example of holding your tongue then He is it. Sometimes I wish I was just mute, just cut it out! But, I can learn to hold my tongue, and use my words to encourage and not hinder.
I am sorry for the depressing post, I just needed to get this out. I really do wish for simpler times. Of being a child, but now I just need to learn how to be child like. To pray for myself and for others that there could be peace between us.
I love that Camilla can teach me lessons.
4 comments:
I don't think your post is depressing, just serious. It is hard sometimes to look at ourselves and see the work that needs to be done and feel ashamed, but it also feels so good to admit guilt and be able to move on. I say, good on ya for being honest.
Thanks for sharing. I think I know where you're coming from - have been there too many times myself. The good part is that most people forgive and let us move on. The hard part is that it takes longer to heal than it did as children, but we do and that's good.
One step at a time... hang in there. You have the best. <3
Thanks ladies.. Sarah- it does help sometimes to admit guilt, I want to move on from the situation.
Diana- I really like what you said of having the best. So true.
hey No. CA - we need an update :)
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