My pretty girl

Soccer girl!

We signed Camilla up for soccer, hoping it would get rid of some of her energy and give her something to do! I know part of her having so much energy is from not having enough to do! Anyway she is on the same team as my cousin Marcy's son William, they are the same age. So far she's only had 2 practices and 1 game. She did pretty good in practice but then the game came and it was hot and she just really looked like she didn't know what to do! I don't think she liked all the other kids pushing her and getting in her space! So hopefully she will figure out how to get more involved next game! Either way it's a good experience for her!

Looking cute in her uniform

This is how she feels about the heat!

She spent a lot of time looking around!

YAY!

Didn't realize how much I was stressing about insurance till we finally got word that I will have it! I knew it was going to be an issue getting insurance but didn't realize what a pain it was going to be! Because of my ovarian issue I couldn't get my own insurance, we weren't elligable for medi-cal and the other program AIM. So luckily AIM told me about this new Obama thing called PCIP- Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan. For people like me who have a so called pre-existing condition which makes them be denied for private health insurance. So after weeks and weeks we finally got a letter saying I was approved! It won't start till Oct 1 but I am so glad to have something so I don't have to pay for a C-section! Yikes! It will of course help big time with my dr. visits (only $25 a visit yay) and labs and ultra sounds too which is great but the big thing was the Csection and hospital. So I feel so relieved about that!

One more thing crossed off my stress list! :)

Thinking of others

Well, I'm sure all of you are glad that you don't have to read anymore about me whining about not getting pregnant! I'm glad to not have to stress about it either! I am 12 weeks now and so that helps me relax even more! Since I am pregnant now I think of other women who were in a similar situation of infertility or of those who did get pregnant and lost if for whatever reason. I of course am happy for myself but because of my experience of wanting to be pregnant and it not happening I am so aware of what other people are going through and want to be really sensitive to that. I remember so many times of hearing of people getting pregnant or of seeing pregnant women and just having this longing and this question of is it going to happen? Will Camilla be a only child? I feel for those women and hope so much for them that they can one day have a child. So I am happy that it has happened for me but I think of other people a lot and my heart hurts for them. I have been made aware that getting pregnant and having a child is truly a miracle. God is great and you can see his power even in creating a child inside of us. I have been thinking about that a lot of what God can do for us. Camilla has been asking of course how did the baby get in my tummy, where do trees come from, where does dirt come from. The most simple answer I could come up with is just to tell her that God creates everything. So now I have heard her walking around and saying I wish that God would give me this or that. So cute, but a good reminder to me that God can give us so much if we are willing to give to him.

I debated for a while of when do I tell people, I know most people wait till they are over 3 months. I understand why they wait, the more people you tell about the pregnancy the more people you will have to tell if you have a miscarriage. I just felt that the only reason why I was waiting was because I might have a miscarriage. So basically I felt like I was saying I am going to have a miscarriage so I need to not tell people. I just felt almost like I was jinxing myself! I didn't want to wait and I knew that if I did have a miscarriage it would be something that I would talk about. I'm not a believer of keeping everything inside, of grieving alone. Not that I have to tell people for the attention but for myself it helps to heal in whatever situation it may be. So I did wait for a while! I was quite impressed with myself! But after trying for over 3 years I just couldn't hold it in any longer! So now here I am at the 3 month mark with no problems and so I feel great.

It is going to be so strange having a baby in the house again! It will be 5 years since we had a little one in the house and I'm not sure how much I remember! :) Hopefully it's just like riding a bike, it will all come back to me. Camilla will also be starting school after the summer the baby is born so we will have all kinds of new stuff going on at our house! Yikes, I'm not ready for her to already be in school!

Have a good day, I will leave you with a quote I read on another blog.

"Cry if you must, but laugh as soon as you can."