to test or not?

I was asked yesterday at my doctor appointment if I wanted to do the test that would check and see if the baby had down syndrome. I hadn't thought about it before, since it's been almost 6 years since I was last pregnant! So I was kinda rushed into the decision. I sat there for a moment and thought about this lady and her experience with down syndrome. She had no idea her baby was going to have down syndrome and it was of course a big shock when she saw her baby girl for the first time and knew that she had it. There was no question in her mind and of course the doctors whisked baby away and she was left reeling with so many questions and concerns. There is not any easy way to find out that your child has a disease or disability. Would it be easier to find out now so I could have time to get used to the idea, to prepare people for what is to come? Or do I want to spend the rest of my pregnancy knowing that my child will never be a so called normal child? How hard will it be to go my whole pregnancy and then when the baby is pulled from my belly and I see his/her little face and I know that she has it? There is no easy way. But regardless I know that if by chance our child does have it then we will love it no matter what. So, I said no I don't want to test either way we are having this baby. It is not something that I do really need to stress about, the chances are pretty slim for me. But it stopped me short and made me think about the what ifs. I am good at doing that, thinking about the what ifs. It's not healthy I know. It really is a miracle that so many babies are born healthy.

What I do want to know is if we are having a boy or girl! We both do want a boy, especially Ian. I want Ian to have a son, but on the other hand doesn't Camilla need a sister? I go both ways, of course Camilla wants a sister too. It would sure be easier, you should see the tubs of clothes in our garage! :) We will of course take what we get and if it's not a boy well then it's Ian's fault anyway! I love to remind him of that!!