patient and impatient

I need more patience, with others, with life and with my little girl. She is SO good at pushing my buttons, she can find every last button of mine and push it as hard as she can. I have what has been labeled a high maintenance child or a extra independent child. A professional has told me that she needs extra attention and different ways of dicipline and needs it now before she gets into school. He said once you get into school if she is the way she is now that they will start pushing medicine and start pushing special classes.

Before I had her, I was one of those people who thought that once I had my own child that I would have control. That if he/she was naughty that they would get a swift swat and a talking to. I was not one who had patience with other peoples naughty kids. I ALWAYS thought I would have control because I did not want a child who was out of control being bad in the store etc. So.... Now here I am, feeling like I am consistent, maybe too consistent. Maybe all I do is discipline out of fear of her behaviour and what other people think. But, it isn't working. She does what she wants,when she wants. I can't and don't know how to get control over it.

I want her to be someone who when people see her they see a kid, a 3 and a half or so kid. A 3 and a half year old GOOD kid. But it is hard to see that because she seems to show the worst when she is around other people. I am not one of those people who makes excuses for their kid, like, well she's just tired or well she had a hard day yesterday. Or the best one, wow, she's never acted like that before! I know how my daughter behaves, I don't like it. I am doing everything I possibly can plus getting help from other Moms. So I ask for patience from the people around me and I ask for patience for myself. I love her like I've never loved before. I will love her no matter what. But right now I don't love the way she acts. I know it will get better, but for now it is a every day struggle to keep her to a low roar.

I need so much more patience with her, this to will pass. Soon, please?

Just for anyone wondering if this is directed towards them, No it is not. It is just for me.