This was a little video we took of her with the cake. The color is dark but the sound is funny!!

Life and death

Well this past week my Grandpa passed away and my daughter turned 1. It was a sad and busy week. We had a lot of funeral arrangements to make, we knew there would be too many people to fit in a funeral home so we had to find a building. So we had it at some fairgrounds that are close by. I think there was around 400 people at the funeral. It is amazing how many people one life can touch. It was such a bittersweet time for us. We knew he had been suffering for so long and so much pain for so long. So we are glad that he isn't suffering anymore. But... It is hard to imagine that he is gone forever. I just can't really even comprehend it. Even though he hasn't been able to do much physically even for the last year. He still was here and we would visit him at the hospital or at the home. So its just a strange feeling that there is no more Grandma AND Grandpa. Just Grandma. So we had lots of people there and lots of nice memories from people. I really enjoyed what was said about him that when someone would ask him a question that it would always take a while for him to answer. And the thought just was that he always thought about his answer and what he was going to say that would be the right answer. And I know for myself that I often answer things to fast and maybe it isn't always the right or best answer.

Anyway we didn't really have a real birthday for Camilla yet. There was just so much going on and so many things to do I just felt like it wasn't the time for it. So this week we will have to do something. But we did get her a big piece of cake and let her just dig in so these are pics from that.

My Grandpa passed away today. I don't know who reads this but just wanted to write it. It was time, he has no more pain. Now we just have to deal with ours.

Death

Well it seems like everyone is dying and getting sick. On Tues I went to my Great Aunts funeral who wasn't very old. She had major liver problems that came one really fast. And before that a old friend of our families Ron Downs died. He had a stroke and it was just too much for his body. Now my Grandpa Grow is in the hospital again. He was in a nursing home and he has diebetes and is paralyzed from the waist down. He had this sore on his back and a nurse was supposedly coming in everyday and looking at it. But obviously she wasn't because by the time she finally decided to bring him to the hospital, it was so bad the doctors said they have to do surgery. So they did the surgery and the sore was so bad it was all the way down to the spinal cord. Yeah great job nurse. I know he didn't have a lot going for him with having the diebetes and being paralyzed. BUT it didn't have to go this far. I would love to go down to the carehome and scream at someone. But I guess I'll be calm and let other people deal with it. It is just so frusterating, because its so hard to put someone in a home and you finally make the choice. Do the research and talk to people and they say yeah this home is a good home, we really liked it they do a good job. And then this happens. So what did happen? AARGH. Anyway and now my little cousin who is 16 months is in the hospital too. He was having a really hard time breathing and wasn't getting enough oxygen. I'm not sure on all the details. But anyway goes to show once again that our human bodies are fragile. Luckily we can look forward to so much more when our bodies do fail us.

So I was watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition online the other day. And they built a house for these people who have a 8 year old daughter. She had some kind of rare cancer and she beat it. And while she was in the hospital she would buy little stuffed animals for the other kids there who had cancer. She was a really cute and thoughtful girl. So anyway her parents house was falling down around them because they had to spend all their money on her medical bills and expenses. So anyway when the show aired she had been diagnosed AGAIN with the same kind of cancer. It was so sad, her Mom said that when they found out the daughter just started screaming and said Mom just let me die I can't go through it again. Oh my it was so sad. Needless to say I was just bawling because I can't imagine the pain you would feel as a parent. It was terrible for us when Camilla had to get her shots! Much less go through chemo and all. So it was really sad. And so I watched the episode and it said that she had a blog. So when it was done I went and found her blog. Um yeah she died. I couldn't believe it! I thought for sure she could beat it again. But she just couldn't. It was terrible, I was just crying and crying. Having kids isn't just all peaches and cream. There are lots of things that can go wrong. And for those of us who have healthy kids we need to be SO thankful. I feel SO bad for the parents and kids out there with cancer and other uncurable illnesses. Of course we are willing to take the chance when we decide to have kids and we love them no matter what.

This was a while ago, but I just found it and listened to it again!! She looks SO little! My sister Kara and I are in the background talking to her. She was feeling quite talkative that day!! =) Lots of little squeals and squeaks!! Turn your volume up!!

Well I spent most of last week snowbound at my parents house. But it was kinda nice because I had a sinus and ear infection. So Mom helped me with Camilla untill she got sick too.... Then my Dad got sick. Actually I guess Dad was a little sick before I came, so its not all fault. =( Anyway we got like 8 inches of snow 1 day and more off and on. It was pretty. I didn't go out in it at all cause I felt so horrible. I really havn't been very sick for years. So it was rough. Its hard when you don't feel good and you just want to go to bed but you can't because you have kids to take care of. Its not all about you anymore. So I was very glad for my Mom to be there to help me some. Anyway Camilla also got sick and so that was rough. We got a vaporizer for her and so I think it helped a little. She still is a little sick and me too but we are SO much better!! Anyway heres some pictures.