Today

Is one of those days where I would REALLY like to get into bed and sleep for oh 8 hours or so. My patience has been very thin the last 2 days, not sure why. I don't think I've had any unusual or different stresses. Just the same ones.
I am getting closer and closer to starting the fertility meds. Went in today and took a pregnancy test just to make sure before I start the meds. Of course though I went into the lab and it was like the busiest day ever. So I waited for close to 40 min before they even called me in and then they said we don't have any order for a test. UGH.. Luckily the lab is in the same building as my Dr. so I was able to just walk down the hall to get the paper work. So then after waiting 5 min for that and then waiting another probably 10 min I was able to get the blood drawn which took oh maybe at the most 3 minutes! Meanwhile Camilla is saying repeatedly I don't want to be here, yanking on my purse, yanking on my hands, there is people around coughing and little kids coughing and I can just feel the sickness invading me. So that didn't help my patience level. I think that I am really nervous about taking the medicine because this will really prove if I am able to get pregnant or not. If this medicine doesn't work then I will have to go to a different kind of fertility Dr. which the closest one is in Sacramento, 2.5 hours away which= Big $$. Which we don't have and don't have insurance and as of right now can't afford it. So I'm really nervous because this is in a way maybe my last shot to ever get pregnant unless for some unknown reason my body decides to cooperate which it hasn't been cooperating for close to 3 years now! So I'm trying to relax, trying not to get too ahead of myself and trying to be positive that this will work. It will right? :) Please? I'm tired of worrying about it, just one more child please?
I've appreciated thinking of our weakness appealing to God. Of God just wanting a little bit of willingness and a weakness in ourselves and with that little bit he can do a amazing work in us. "Our weakness Lord appeals to thee, our spirits long for liberty, oh hear our cry, thy holy one, complete the work thou hast begun." I think that is how it goes, I'm too lazy to get up and find my hymn book! But, it is nice to know that we can be weak and ask God for strength and he will give it. Of course the stipulation is of being willing for his will, all of it.
So today I need more patience and more positive thinking! :)