Nutcracker

Some of us mothers and daughters from around here went to the Nutcracker last Saturday, it was the first time for both Camilla and I. It was pretty long and Camilla didn't seem to interested part of the time. Plus she was NOT wanting her picture taken! Stubborn stubborn..
On the way in with Mom.

At least Lila was smiling!

Hair

Camilla's hair is so long and has red,blonde and brown in it. It has been quite the battle the last few months ok probably a year. She seems to have a very tender head and just plain hates getting her hair done! It drives me nuts watching her with her hair down in her eyes, but it doesn't seem to bother her at all!

Holiday time

Just a few pictures from our place. Camilla asks almost every day if its Christmas yet and when Santa Clause is going to come. It's funny because I don't remember ever telling her about Santa Clause but somehow she knows that he brings presents. She says that he lives across town, don't know where she got that either! :)




19 days till Christmas!

Puppy Nails

Camilla filing puppy's claws, they do get a little sharp! Bella is really learning how to tolerate kids! Camilla drags her around by the collar, yells at her and puppy just takes it all in! They are best friends, when Camilla is gone puppy looks for her. She hasn't bit at all for a long time, so I feel really good about her. She just needed to learn how to play nicer!

Thanksgiving

We were able to make it to Reno Weds night to stay at my Mom's parents and see all her family! I had my camera but of course didn't take one picture. But we had a good time, played lots of games. I think we played monopoly 5 times and I didn't come close to winning once! Always good to see that side of the family,we don't get to see them much.
Ian had to leave early to go back to work so I came home with Mom and Dad and we stopped at a rest area and let the dog and Camilla play in the snow! The dog had a great time running around and Camilla did too, she loves snow!
Puppy running around!

Poor little cold cheeks!

The theme is friends.

I have lost another friend to cancer. It is just amazing to me how many people die from cancer. I bet there isn't anyone who hasn't had someone close to them die from cancer. My friend not only beat breast cancer but then she got lung cancer, how unfair is that?
She was my high school librarian, she was not just a authoritive figure but a friend to me. I was placed as her aide I think my sophmore year because I had surgery on my shoulder and wasn't able to do PE. So they put me as her TA. She told me later that she wasn't really excited to hear that I would be helping her. I was a bit wild and well probably rude. But, time went on and I changed and she became a great friend to me. I really needed a adult friend in my highschool years, my relationship with my parents was to say the least strained. (I had some major rebellion going on) She helped me so much and I even would go and hang out with her at her house! I think it seemed strange to my friends that I would spend a Friday night hanging out with a 60 something year old lady. But she was fun and we had such a great time. We were faithful "Friends" watchers and I remember that it was her who I watched the last episode with. I graduated and moved around but still kept in touch with her. She came to our wedding and she was there to see baby Camilla. I last saw her a few weeks ago in the hospital. She seemed fine, her pain was better she just was having trouble walking. Or maybe thats just what she told me. Either way I'm majorly kicking myself for not seeing her more often.
I will miss you Hilma Harris, thanks for being a true friend.

Time is passing oh so quickly

Can NOT believe that in 2 and a half weeks it will already be Thanksgiving!! For some reason just does not seem like November to me. Today we finally had a real storm, lost of rain and hail. Now I look at the calender and it says Nov. 7 wow. Camilla is going to be 4 in a few months, she seems that old but yet I can't believe that it has been that long since I was pregnant. I never really wanted this much space between kids, but maybe it is for the best. Hate to say it, but Camilla has been SO hard for me. So it will be nice to have her grown up a little more if and when we can hopefully have another child. At the earliest she will be almost 5 or over 5 if the medicine works fast and like its supposed too. (PLEASE?)
I'm almost done with the first medicine that they put me on and the next step is some form of a fertility medicine. I don't know much about what they will have me on, my next appt is soon and hopefully I can learn more and get some sort of a round about time frame.
For now I'm really trying to just enjoy mother hood a lot more. To not let the naughtiness or bad behaviour affect me too long. I know the more I can relax and be calm the more she will also. It's been brought to my attention that I see her bad behaviour so much more than anyone else. That I notice all this stuff but people around me don't even see it. Not everything of course, but just little things that I feel like everyone is seeing, in reality it's only me. So, I'm trying to just be more calm and by doing that hopefully she can too. I guess some parents are in la la land about their child and I'm in this anal land of what is she doing, is she being good.. Just breathe and let her be a child. I know that already these days are flying by and I don't want to waste them by being angry at her behaviour and missing the sweet times of her being little.

Happy Halloween!

This year Camilla was a mermaid, went perfect with her red hair! Some friends of ours own a carehome Lavender Hills , so all of the residents hand out candy. They are very generous!


Ballerina Lila

My attempt at a witch costume

5 years!

Can't believe it's already been 5 years since we were married! Time has flown by and so much has changed but yet stayed the same. Still happily married and so thankful that he accepts me for who I am. Know that sounds so cliche, but I do appreciate it. I know that I'm not always easy to be around so thank you Ian!
We wanted to go somewhere different for a few days and decided on Fort Bragg. It is so pretty there, a little touristy town kinda out of the way. But, a nice hotel was recommended to us and so we stayed there. Had a nice view of the beach but it did rain most of the time we were there. Luckily on Saturday it was just kinda misting so we were able to go out and do a few things with out getting SOAKED! We have had a pretty stressful year with our work and Ian has been working 60+ hours a week often 6 or 7 days a week for close to a year now so he really needed a little break. Luckily we have a few good guys who we can trust to get the work done so we could go away for the weekend. Anyway really glad for the few days we had, extra thanks to my parents for not only watching Camilla but also the dog!!

There are some botanical gardens there that we went to. 47 acres of land with hundreds of plants, flowers and trees.



Need a place to get married? How about a gorgeous Dalia garden?

I did spend some time here watching the waves. I kept thinking how can anyone not believe in God? Just sitting there watching the ocean and how amazing it is.

Happy Anniversary!

patient and impatient

I need more patience, with others, with life and with my little girl. She is SO good at pushing my buttons, she can find every last button of mine and push it as hard as she can. I have what has been labeled a high maintenance child or a extra independent child. A professional has told me that she needs extra attention and different ways of dicipline and needs it now before she gets into school. He said once you get into school if she is the way she is now that they will start pushing medicine and start pushing special classes.

Before I had her, I was one of those people who thought that once I had my own child that I would have control. That if he/she was naughty that they would get a swift swat and a talking to. I was not one who had patience with other peoples naughty kids. I ALWAYS thought I would have control because I did not want a child who was out of control being bad in the store etc. So.... Now here I am, feeling like I am consistent, maybe too consistent. Maybe all I do is discipline out of fear of her behaviour and what other people think. But, it isn't working. She does what she wants,when she wants. I can't and don't know how to get control over it.

I want her to be someone who when people see her they see a kid, a 3 and a half or so kid. A 3 and a half year old GOOD kid. But it is hard to see that because she seems to show the worst when she is around other people. I am not one of those people who makes excuses for their kid, like, well she's just tired or well she had a hard day yesterday. Or the best one, wow, she's never acted like that before! I know how my daughter behaves, I don't like it. I am doing everything I possibly can plus getting help from other Moms. So I ask for patience from the people around me and I ask for patience for myself. I love her like I've never loved before. I will love her no matter what. But right now I don't love the way she acts. I know it will get better, but for now it is a every day struggle to keep her to a low roar.

I need so much more patience with her, this to will pass. Soon, please?

Just for anyone wondering if this is directed towards them, No it is not. It is just for me.

Auntie time!

Kara was up for special meetings and got to spend a few days with us! We love Auntie time, especially Camilla!
The first night we went to the sun dial bridge, but alas my camera is dumb and wouldn't take pictures right cause it was to dark.
But the next day we went to the lake! It was a perfect day for it, no wind and hardly anyone there.




We went up to Mom and Dad's for the weekend and Landry and Lila were there so the girls got to play together. There is a creek behind my parents house and so we did a little swimming and picked some blackberries.
Showing of their black berry tounges!


We also made some cute cupcakes!

The days with my sister always fly by and everytime she leaves I feel like a Mom letting her child go. I know she is where she needs to be but it is so hard to let go.

Cute collage

A new way of making a collage.

lake pics

Just some pretty pictures!

Aaaaahhhhhh

IT'S RAINING! I'm sitting here watching the rain fall, its so peaceful. Fall makes me excited because the later it gets in the year the sooner I am off my dumb medicine! Woohooo!
I think I will cook soup tonight. I need new soup recipe's. Anyone have a good one?

same old thing

I seem to sometimes treat this blog like a diary, when I am feeling emotional I come here. I am beginning to feel like a broken record or your Aunt Sally who always has some health problem. I want my life back and am so tired of being tired and of not feeling good and not feeling like myself. Today was the only day that I went to the gym this week. Why? Well, when you are so exhausted and dizzy its hard to go and push myself at the gym. Just lifting a basket of laundry left me dizzy and light headed. Why am I dizzy and so tired? WHO KNOWS?? The fert Dr. says your hormones are just really out of whack you will be emotional, you will have mood swings. Well ok, but why am I so tired and so dizzy? He doesn't know. Lets do 5 million dollars worth of blood work and labs so you can say well everything looks ok. Blah..
So I'm sorry for anyone who does read this, I have not been really positive lately. Maybe one day I will feel better and have a better attitude.


These pictures always put me in a better mood! What a day it was when she was born. The most happy and tired I have ever been!

Swinging

Camillas swingset is done, she really likes it! It took around 14 hours to put together! The kids especially like the 2 person swing because its easy to make it go fast and high!




Puppy doing what she does best, lazy girl.